Facing the end of your marriage can be very sad and sometimes hard to accept. Knowing when the marriage is truly over, and there is no hope can be a difficult call to make.

Here are some signs that your marriage may be over.

Lack of Emotional Connection

If you no longer feel as though you romantically love your spouse or that they have lost that feeling for you, it may signal the end of the relationship. It’s possible to love someone as an essential part of your life and not love them as a spouse or romantic partner, and it can take time to determine if your feelings have shifted in this way.

Communication Breakdown

If you and your spouse cannot communicate and every attempt turns into an argument or fight, it’s a signal that your relationship may be over. You may have trouble understanding what the other person means or find their communication methods aggressive or confrontational. Or communication may have simply been reduced to what is absolutely necessary.

If you can’t get on the same page when it comes to communicating, it’s hard to maintain a marriage.

Loss of Physical Intimacy

A sexless marriage or one without physical attraction is often an unhappy one. If you and your spouse are no longer attracted to each other, never have sex, and have no desire to connect physically, it can mean that the spark of your relationship has gone out.

Different Goals

A successful marriage hinges on creating goals together that you both believe in. If you and your spouse develop goals that do not mesh with each other, it can be difficult to continue your partnership and marriage.

This can be even worse if you do not support each other’s goals or feel they contradict your own goals and hopes for the future.

Loss of Trust

A healthy marriage centers on trust. Telling each other the truth and keeping promises are vital to maintaining trust. When trust is broken, the entire basis for the marriage is called into question.

Abuse

Physical, emotional, psychological, financial, or sexual abuse should be a huge red flag that a marriage is no longer safe. If your spouse cannot see the problem and get help, taking steps to protect yourself by leaving the marriage is essential.

No Respect

If you do not respect your spouse or find that they do not respect you, it is a warning that your relationship is not stable. A healthy marriage requires mutual respect so that you can support, appreciate, and help each other.

Addiction

If you or your spouse has a substance abuse problem or another type of addiction (gambling, sex addiction, etc.), it is not possible to have an honest relationship. The addiction will always be in charge, and you will never be able to get around it unless treatment is sought.

Apathy

Apathy is best described as a complete lack of feeling. If you or your spouse feel dull and uninterested in the marriage and have no desire to work on it or improve it, a divorce might be your best choice.

Secrets

If you or your spouse are keeping secrets from each other, this can be very damaging to your relationship. The secrets can be huge, such as an affair or job loss, or minor, such as hiding something you bought or eating or drinking in secrecy.

When you and your spouse cannot share things and feel you must keep them from the other person, it’s a signal that your marriage has broken down.

Imagining a Future Without Your Partner

Thinking about your life without your partner is a sign that your relationship may be facing difficulties. This feeling can be due to various reasons, such as disagreements, different aspirations, or feeling less connected.

Being in a relationship means wanting to be together in the future, so if you no longer feel this way, it may suggest that your connection with your partner is weakening.

Disagreement on Having Children

When partners find themselves on opposite sides of the desire to have children, it can create a significant rift in the relationship. This conflict isn't just about differing opinions; it's a fundamental disagreement about what each person envisions for their future.

One partner's dream of raising a family might be just as strong as the other's preference for a child-free life. This divergence can stem from various reasons, including personal goals, lifestyle choices, or deep-seated beliefs about parenthood.

The impact of such a difference can be profound, as it touches on life-changing decisions that affect not just the couple, but potential future family members.

Active Avoidance

When you actively avoid your spouse because you simply don’t want to be around them, deal with them, or interact with them, it signals that your relationship is in trouble. Staying away from home or trying to always be in a different room are short-term solutions, but eventually, you have to face the fact that you don’t want to be married to them.

Refusal to Go to Therapy

Asking your spouse to go to therapy with you is an excellent response to dealing with issues in your marriage that you can’t resolve on your own. But if your spouse refuses to go to marriage therapy, it may leave you with no alternative other than ending the marriage.

Deciding that your marriage is over is a tough decision and one that should not be made lightly. Take some time to be sure that you want to end your relationship before taking any decisive steps.

Tips for Moving On From a Marriage That Is Over

Here are some tips for moving on from a marriage that ended in divorce.

Acknowledge Your Emotions and Seek Support

A divorce is a loss, and it's okay to grieve. Give yourself space to feel all the emotions - sadness, anger, confusion, you name it. Bottling things up won't help. Talking to a therapist can be a big help in processing these emotions.

Don't go through this alone. Share your feelings with friends, family, or a support group. Surround yourself with people who care about you and can offer a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

Prioritize Self-Care

Take care of yourself physically and mentally. Eat healthy, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. These habits will give you the strength you need to heal. Reconnect with things you enjoy. Spend time with loved ones, pursue hobbies, or try something new! Building a fulfilling life outside your marriage is key to moving on.

Plan for the Future

It's a good time to think about your goals and dreams. What do you want your future to look like? Having a sense of purpose and direction can be incredibly motivating. If you're considering divorce, consult with a lawyer to understand your rights and navigate the legal process.

Prioritize Your Kids Well-Being (For Couples with Children)

If you have kids, prioritize their well-being. Talk to them openly and honestly about the changes and assure them of your love. Work with your ex to create a healthy co-parenting relationship that puts your children's needs first. Consider involving a therapist to help with the transition.

Remember, Healing Takes Time

Be patient with yourself. Everyone heals at their own pace. There will be good days and bad days, that's normal. Moving on from a marriage doesn't erase the past but opens the door to a new and exciting chapter in your life.

Sources

• How to Find the Right Couples Therapist - The New York Times

• The Big Threat to Your Relationship: Apathy | Mended Life - Joel D. Walton, M.A., LMFT

• What to Do When Your Partner Doesn't Respect You - Very Well Mind

• Why Trust Matters in Relationships and Marriage - National Healthy Marriage Resource Center